I have not written for my blog in over two months.
I have not known what to say, or how to say it. “It” being a story too big to tell.
On October 29, 2016, I had a phone call no mother ever wants to get:
Your son is in ICU, he had ___________ surgery, he is stable, etc. etc. etc.
I almost lost my eldest son to a bicycle accident. He was riding home from work on a Saturday afternoon. He was zipping down a hill. He was going too fast. He was preoccupied. He had the coming evening’s events on his mind. He had coffee in one hand. He had an earbud in one ear listening to music. He ran a stop sign. He rode at an estimated 30 miles per hour into the passenger side rear window of an SUV.
My life has been anything but normal since that fated day.
I flew to and lived in Boulder Colorado for two months. I became a nurse, cook, wound care specialist, chauffeur, coach, and more…
I did what any mother would do. I tried my best to do whatever needed to be done to help my son heal.
After a long hospital stay and countless appointments we were grateful to get the “all clear” to travel home for the Holiday’s.
Once home, we hibernated as a family. Ate nutritious meals. Played games. Slept often and late. Enjoyed nature. Laughed. Talked and told stories. Worked on puzzles.
The event created waves of change in our family, in life, and in my fledgling newly hatched business.
You might have noticed, I closed my Silly Girl Factory Etsy Shop. The shop I had opened for business in October 2016 was and is now closed. I stopped making new projects. I stopped writing. I stopped drawing. I stopped painting. I stopped regular life. Instead, I focused on him.
I did whatever I could to bring him to health and healing. Our hours, days, and schedules became completely intertwined. All for him.
As he gained some independence, I tried to move forward in my life as well.
After a while, I began going to few yoga classes. This was not an easy step forward. I was still to afraid to go into public because talking to strangers was too hard. How could I contain the hurt? How could I express the hurt? How could I act normal or be normal? Nothing was or is normal.
Not now. Not ever.
Slowly, I began to draw or create collages or write again, a little, each day. Allowing my work to feed me and ground me. I have so much hope for myself and my little business: Silly Girl Factory.
I have so much hope for his future and his “regular” life coming back to him.
His healing will take a year, maybe more, not less.
My healing might take longer than his. My spirit took a deep hit. I never wanted to see my child suffer, especially not so much.
I will continue to dive into making my art, my writing, my unique ways of expressing, and creating. I long to share.
Joy. Life. Love. Peace. Hope. Health. Silliness and fun!
I also know that my art will be a container for the hurt, the pain, and the expression of all I have inside that is too big to express.
Thank you for being a trusted reader. May your 2017 be filled with hope, love, peace, health, and everything else you desire. Now you know why the silence came so soon after the excitement of opening my Silly Girl Factory Etsy shop. I plan to re-open. When the time is right.
Happy New Year